the sketchbook project

In january 2022, I set out to do a 30 day sketchbook challenge. I wanted to find a deeper art practice. Further my skills. Find out where my art wanted to go. So I started to paint in a sketchbook for 30 days. Somewhere around day 10 or 12, I started to really fall in love with what I was making. and when day 30 arrived, I blew right past it and just kept going. Somewhere after day 60 an artist friend said “you’re more than halfway to 100!”. And at that point I knew I was going to go to day 100.

At this point I am still going, and am way past day 100.

I know that people have been doing 100 day things since the dawn of ideas or something. but I have never looked them up, or read about them or researched them. I knew about the idea and surmised that it was about habit forming and transforming behavior.

I am like that though, I don’t want to know what people did before me. I just want to do it. So I have never looked it up or looked into what a 100 day project looks like for other artists/creatives. Maybe what I discovered about it is nothing revolutionary and is probably what I would have found others say if I had just taken some time to look it up first.

I have to admit that I wasn’t always perfect. I had to miss some days. there were days in the sequence where I was traveling for most of the daylight hours, or something else was going on, and I had to allow myself that grace and give permission to do the art the next day.

I always thought of myself as a perfectionist. I think a lot of people would say that I am. but actually. I am more of a ‘that’s good enough’ kind of person.

Having the plan to do art, even just this small one page thing every single day was so interesting. I don’t usually have a problem adapting to new habits, and so I knew it wouldn’t be a problem for me. I already have a lot of daily habits, so what was one more?

I found that I loved making a sketchbook page every single day. really really loved it.

I always wanted to have a regular studio practice but never really got into it, because i didn’t always feel like making art. or felt inspired. but this, this made me rethink that. it didn’t matter whether I felt like making it or not, I did it. and I found things to make, things to inspire me. a lot of times on the days when I didn’t know what to do, or had no pre-thought out vision of my page, it turned into more of an actual journal journal. it became an expression of what I was feeling that day. even when it was anger, or sadness, or boredom. So I worked through that age old question of what if I don’t feel like making art today. I still made art. but it wasn’t always grand. it wasn’t super big or my very best work. and I knew it wasn’t going to be. because it was always this tiny little page that no one cared about. it could be bad art. I could be playful, or weird, or messy or whatever I wanted. because there was no expectation that I was making great art. I was just making Art period. full stop. if it was bad one day didn’t mean the whole day was ruined or my whole art practice was ruined. or even that the next thing I would make would be bad. it was just one little page in a big book of pages. who cares. right?

In doing it every single day I found out what I really liked to do and what I really didn’t like. what kind of materials I liked using. what shapes I like. what processes I like. I tried new things, tried new sequences to the things I always used. and played around quite a bit. I didn’t care what anyone thought of that. I wasn’t trying to be someone special or make art that was expected of me. or trying to make art that I thought I should be making. Just art that I enjoyed making.

Starting a Conversation

Watching myself do the pages by editing the videos later has been so interesting. I had forgotten I did certain things. that I tried certain things. sometimes I would edit them and be like, oh wow, I love how that worked out. I gotta try that again. or I would laugh at myself, and be like, I must have really hated that part because I covered it all up and you don’t even see what it was in the beginning.

I have always been critical of my own process. my own ‘talent’. I have always been a bit worried about sharing my processes, as I am certain they are not what is taught or normal to most people. I am not formally educated in Art so I worried about judgement. Even my own.

but that all kind of fell away as I shared the videos of my process. I even don’t really care if they all start to look the same after a while. (they do, because my materials and processes are the same most days). I still shared them anyways.

What has happened though, is that through the process of Sharing all of these pages and my process, even some the daily workings of making this project, I find myself having a Conversation. A conversation with whomever is watching, as well as myself. Making notes along the way, sharing parts that I love as I go through a page, talking about my habits and my process.

But mostly and most interestingly, I was having these talks with myself every day in the first half of this project. What was it I was creating? Why did I do that? Why was I making circles every. single. day? Why did this matter? Why was I so concerned about this? But this was really important to me. and I thought about it all the time. And one day, after I had written out some of these thoughts about the work and the project, it hit me. Each of these pages is a representation of how I am feeling that day. or what I am thinking about. or what I am doing. Each day the circles represent something different. they are the “things” in my day. Whether it is laundry. or thoughts or people. or tasks. or something intangible. The circles are the things that are the prominent in my day and the page is like a journal of sorts. And I realized it was like I was having a conversation with myself. Through my painting sketchbook.